It’s nice to be missed.  Several of you have written over the past couple of days to ask why I’d gone silent.  Thank you.  It was enormously kind of you.

It had been a very busy week.  A big food show to help put together, cooking classes – the days ran together to the point that I nearly panicked on Thursday thinking it was Friday and I had another class to prepare for.  It was a huge relief to realize I had a day’s cushion.

Timing is everything in this life.  The next day, Cupcake, my great big tortoiseshell cat was hit by a car in front of my house.  No, I didn’t see it happen.  I found her dead when I called everyone for dinner, and she didn’t appear.  Cupcake appreciated her food.  I could practically set a clock by her announcement that she’d like to be having some dinner, and now would be nice, damnitall.

Speaking of dinner, it’s time to make some for myself.  The first part of the week I barely had time to eat, and then my appetite disappeared.  So I guess feeling hungry is a good sign.  It’s going to bed that’s hard.  She always slept right next to me.  Didn’t crowd me, didn’t have to have the whole bed, would sleep under the covers in cold weather.   So I’m thinking a simple pasta tossed with garlic scapes from some kind neighbors, olive oil, Parmesan.

I miss her.

About thesolitarycook

I'm a chef, a cook, a teacher, a reader, a writer, a bike-rider, a dog- and cat-woman
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28 Responses to CUPCAKE

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. There is comfort in knowing that while Cupcake was with you she was loved and happy and brought to you much love and happiness.

    • Yes, and thank you, Suzanne. Still, that void….you know? Her story was a complicated one, and I just can’t write about it all yet. I look forward to talking to you tomorrow.

  2. mrslarkin says:

    Cynthia, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of Cupcake. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that Cupcake enjoyed life very much in your care. If you feel like sharing, I’d love to see pictures of Cupcake. She sounds like a beauty.



  3. Karen Rush says:

    I’m in the middle if house opening. I noticed on my iPad that you had posted on your blog and, of course, opened it up. There were Cupcake’s footsteps. I read your post and have to say tears came when I read you found her dead and thar she died alone. Several people were milling around here so I showed them Cupcake’s picture. Now we are all canning our eyes.

    • Me too. Can you imagine a cat in the snow? She’d keep me company when I shoveled the driveway and sidewalks. Hell, she’d keep me company when I was in the bathroom. Thank you so much, Karen.

  4. Karen Rush says:

    So sorry messed that up. Suffice it to say your posting what poignant and simply heart-breaking.

  5. Pat says:

    So sorry for your loss…our cat, Kitty, who was officially named “Baseball Head” (he was 30 lbs, and his head was the size of a softball) was one of our most beloved pets. He was diabetic during his last few years, needing 2 shots of insulin daily, but hung in there like a trooper..he was a stray and came to us when he was probably about 3. We had him with us for about 14 years.. the loss of a pet is like the loss of a child…hang in there.. the good memories will come.

  6. brokenfoodie says:

    I am the pizza saturday, bountiful basket,etc. Cupcake is the cat that seperates catdom from dogdom and humandom. Cat lovers love that mysterious feel, but Cupcake always let you know what she was thinking. She was the ultimate communicator that we should all strive to be. What do we need? Want? I admired her voice. Let’s make that our memorial to CupCake. Say what you want or need. Wouldn’t we all be happier?

  7. Rita says:

    So sorry for your loss Cynthia.

  8. Heidi says:

    Cynthia, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of Cupcake. I too would love to see photos when you are up for sharing.

  9. So sorry to hear about your pal cupcake. I know how much it hurts when you LOVE your animals. If” you decide to replace her, I have a Beautiful Pure White feline that is clawless, and fixed. I would give her up to a catlover. I banned her to the shop and the outdoors because of My allergies.
    Nothing can compare to the Love of an adoring owner…:)

  10. Hannah says:

    I’m so sorry to read about Cupcake, Cynthia. You must be feeling her loss deeply. Our pets work their way into our lives and hearts and there is such a void when they are gone. Sending you a big hug!

  11. emgrossi says:

    Something was really in the air this week, Cyn. I am SO sorry about Cupcake- how devastating. My week was really challenging and sad too. I hope the sun shines soon. Thinking of you.

  12. Bevi says:

    I had a moment to catch up on your blog – and found this post. I am so very sorry to hear of Cupcake’s passing. We lost our own darling cat almost 3 months ago. He was 16 years old and truly our “third” child. Even now I open the door and expect him to come greet me. It’s a profound loss, and I hope over time the pain is lessened. My best to you, Cynthia. Thank you and our mutual friends for making my life richer.

    • Thank you so much for your sweet words, Bevi. Yes, I still open the front door and expect to find her on the other side, or I’ll think I see her out of the corner of my eye. Animals are so innocent, and maybe that’s part of why we feel their losses so acutely.

    • So sorry, I hit reply before I had a chance to finish. 16 years is such a great long time to have an animal and know its love. I’m so sorry to hear that he is gone.

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